I know I have not written in a crazy number of days, but I have been reminded of so many things these past few weeks.

Recently I have been taking my time going through the book of Luke. The came out of no where but by God’s guidance. Honestly I was feeling really sorry for myself for several days about my lack of wisdom simply from being young and silly and also that I am a woman. Silly I know, especially that I would even feel sorry for myself about it, but I have been struggling with wanting to make a “difference” to minister, to help and I have been literally keeping myself in a lie that is saying “Megan, no one cares what you have to say! You are young, inexperienced, foolish, equally sinful and on top of that you are just a girl!” I have struggled with some of my past and the thoughts and reminders of when I was a teen, how I really felt like I was seeking God and His truth, and looking back on it, while I was trying to do that, I was TOTALLY wrong in my approach, and honestly I have been scared of doing that again. I don’t want to be wrong, though I know I am imperfect and sinful, I don’t want to look back in 20 years and say, look how dumb I was being and ignorant I was towards God and His children! I don’t know if that is a bad thing, but I suppose it is a part of life to learn from and to grow from, which I do believe God wants us to do. It’s a scary realization to go from feeling like you are figuring things out to realizing you don’t have a clue at all…one of the reasons why now I know we all need to stay in close fellowship with God and not just do the “best we can”, but earnestly ask and seek Him….and learning that when I am ignorant to Him, I can ask forgiveness and He is faithful regardless of my anythings. I have come to realize that even my greatest intentions on things I want from life are so stained with sin and with selfish motives deep down…even wanting to raise a godly child has some level of pride behind it, though it’s my responsibility to do!

Well I “stumbled”upon Luke these past few weeks, and I’m hanging out a lot in the first 3 chapters….

A few things that God has used to really stand out to me is the story of Zacharias and of Mary…one a man, the other a woman. One is older, more mature, wiser, a believer. The other is young, innocent, probably not super experienced in much of anything and yet she is a believer. Now I know I have heard this story a million times before about the angel of God coming to Mary and telling her she is going to be the mother of Jesus though she has never known a man….but I guess what has caught my attention for the first time in this story is that while she was in her young, immature state, she was faithful and she was “regarded in lowly state”. (Luke 1:46) Mary still believed, was faithful and magnified and rejoiced in the Lord. I am sure she didn’t really have the words, and she was never a mother before, how must have she really felt? (Just being a new Mom myself, I never thought too much about that side of the coin. I had always sorta thought, she was the mother of Jesus! Her job was easy! He never sinned, He never disobeyed…etc… but she was still a sinner, still human and I am SURE she had those thoughts now!) Anyway, the point is Mary didn’t question God in disbelief of what He was telling her He was going to do.

Now to go back to the beginning….Zacharias, “righteous before God, walking in all commandments…blameless” (Luke 1:6) what happened when the angel came to him and told him that Elizabeth, his wife that was considered barren, would be with child (John)? That this child would be “filled with the Holy Spirit even from his mothers womb” (1:15)…Zacharias did not believe, and God caused him to become a mute at the time of Elizabeth’s pregnancy because of his disbelief to the Words of Gabriel through God the Father.

Am I crazy or was there a serious lesson for me to learn in there? Of course then the questions and excuses can start in my mind, well I’m no Mary! I mean come on, it’s not like I am going to do anything THAT great for God like Mary did! I mean what on earth am I suppose…. NO MEGAN! The point still is, faithfullness and obedience and belief in the Lord wholly and completely! I am pretty sure Mary was not the perfect woman, having all the answers and wisdom, always having the right way to pursue her daily living…but she was faithful! Even thinking upon all of this and even writing it out, I honestly am still saying to myself “but Megan, even if I’m faithful and I’m trying to be obedient, what if I am still wrong?” (call me crazy, it’s ok! )

All of this is to basically say, no matter what, I am really striving to continue to have a willing and a faithfully obedient heart!  I pray that you may do the same!